Suddenly, Hair Expert

┬áIn an attempt to maybe control my unruly hair a little, I started following the posts on a hair forum. I’ve always been bad at hair stuff, so I figured that i wasn’t about to become WORSE. That was on a day when it was ultra-humid, which is always death for my hair. Just, like…stringy noodles, sticking together inconsistently and looking like sheer awfulness.

I’ve picked up a few relevant tips, even contributed to some threads, although not without noting my lack of expertise. Like, I’m not about to go get a job at that one hairdresser in David Jones that I always walk past and think looks like a place where celebrities get their hair done. Not for me…not yet. Maybe I could get a job in a hair salon where I sweep all the hair off the floor, but that’s the best I can do for now, plus I don’t really have the flair for design that you need to be a hair stylist.

Still…I have begun to develop that strange sense of superiority and judgemental spirit that comes with knowing about a subject. Like, I hear that my friend paid $300 to have her hair partially coloured blonde, but she didn’t bring a photo and it wasn’t quite what she wanted, and I really want to say that she made a rookie mistake and she needs to clearly express her intent. The other day I was at a music gig with a friend who said he used half a bottle of Ice-Freeze-Hold, except it was a humid day so he needn’t have bothered, and that stuff does NOT wash out well.

Yeah, I shouldn’t judge. I’ve spent my whole life making bad hair decisions, to the point where I may have done permanent damage. Still, I don’t just want to walk into an open hairdresser in Melbourne and say “Hey, can I have some advice? Do you charge for that, or am I just wasting your time?”

Probably am, yeah.