Following the Repairman

Now that I had successfully placed a tracking device on the mysterious window replacement salesman, I could find out where he was going to meet with Cuthbert Selys, my new rival. When they met up to exchange the snapper rack, I would pounce and take it for myself. I installed a special maps app on …

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Disgusting Bathroom Sink

Okay, I just want to preface and say I’m sorry in advance for how disgusting this blog post will be. Plumbing, sewerage and the matter that goes into the sewerage that I can’t even bring myself to mention, has always made me feel very ill. I am definitely not cut out to be a plumber, …

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Old Hat Treatments

Clarinda is such a purist. That wouldn’t be a problem in itself, necessarily, if it weren’t for the fact that it’s clearly not in her best interests. I mean, it’s one thing to take one’s grimoire seriously, but quite another to adhere to it religiously at the expense of seeking professional advice on certain matters. …

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The Worst Holiday

https://i0.wp.com/rayoonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/car.jpg?fit=852%2C480 Some of my minions think that I’ve been pretty stressed out lately. I’d never admit it to them, but it’s true. The initiative to ruin the lives of humans by making it so difficult to get their welfare payments that they’d prefer to just live on the street really took it out of me. …

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Ventilate Wildly

I’m just about at my wits’ end with this laundry, which has the dimensions of a shoebox and is about as inviting as an old boot. You wouldn’t think a laundry could be this much of an issue, would you? After all, it’s just a laundry – it’s not like I’m hanging out there recreationally …

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Lulabelle, I Think

Do they seriously have to premiere all the good shows at the same time? Like, what kind of diabolical studio executive decided that this would be a good idea? Ugh, terrible. You’ve got Week of Our Lives on one channel at 7:30, Lizard’s Lair is ALSO on at 7:30, and Echolocation, Echolocation, Echolocation, Echolocation is …

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Deep House

House sitting: yep or nope? It’s a bit late for me to be asking, given that I’ve already signed up for a long-term gig, but it’s occurred to me that this might be just a tad more involved than it’s cracked up to be. I was thinking of it mainly in terms of free accommodation, …

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Knife-ly Done

I’m so excited about my new knife block. I’ve just put in an order with a local artisanal blacksmith, who I’m told was apprenticed to master blade makers in Japan and Switzerland. The handles of his knives and the block itself are hand-crafted by the guy’s wife, an award-winning woodworker. It’s costing me a pretty …

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The Old Mechanics

With the benefit of hindsight, I’m not entirely sure I had the nicest childhood. Not that I’m being a negative Nancy or anything…I count my blessings where they fall. My parents gave me a roof over my head (the roof of the cupboard under the stairs), they gave me a ton of different skills in …

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