Away From Light

  I’m not one for investment properties, in general. I own a few, but that’s just stock-standard for people with as much wealth as us. They’re not my main business; I leave that side of things to the Clancy family, and their rivals, and they all have a nice set of squabbles over who gets what. …

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No Longer Superior

Alright, what’s this about the office in Melbourne being the best-looking? We are supposed to be the most stylish office in the country. We’re the Sydney office, and that means that we’re the best by default. And get this: if you go to the back window of the filing room, stand on top of one …

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Oxygen Pitch

When I was really young, my brother told me that an evil goat ate my soul on the day that I was born, rendering me unable to dance or appreciate fine art. That’s a dumb lie, but I was a dumb kid, so I believed them. I used to sit on the side of school …

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The Right Aluminium

After I lost all my friends because I spent so much time debating with them, I obviously needed a new forum, for debating. I can’t help getting into debates; it’s in my blood, and my soul. Sometimes I just take a contrary position, just so I can test my debating skills, which is probably a …

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Taking My Time

For example, knowing the best garages for vehicle inspections near Ringwood. This is my job, I take it very seriously, and obviously I’m going to get someone I trust to check out my car, make sure everything is working as it should, and that I’m getting the most out of it. Efficiency is one of …

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Friends Are Nice

Their latest joke was telling me that squeezing onion and lemon juice into my car’s oil tank would clear out the system so that I wouldn’t have to keep getting the oil changed. Well, one frantic search to a garage in Bentleigh for car servicing later, and don’t I feel silly! I just…well, I started …

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Pests for Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Obviously. Sprouts to peel, presents to wrap, and termites to chase out from their foul little hidey-holes. “What’s that?” I hear you say. Not your typical Christmas fare, but the spinning wheel landed on us to host this year and I’m going to fulfil my end of …

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Feature Wall Zone

I’ve already established my reputation as the undisputed queen of personalisation. Everything I own is mine, and there shall be no quarrelling about that fact because is YOUR maths textbook covered in stickers and choice lines from my favourite shows? Yeah, no. I didn’t think so. The great upside of this is that no one …

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Too Much Festivity

Doreen not only has the decorations up, but she’s also covered the place in Christmas wallpaper. Is this just a tradition she does every year or something? We all walked into the office on Monday and found the place decked out like Santa’s palace, and I just can’t fathom why the boss would make such …

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